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Students Testimonials
Jan Davies testimonial
Julie Worthington |
Jan Davies
The course has transformed my life. I believe I know who I am
now. I believe I know how I am feeling from one minute to the
next. I believe I am living more in the here and now and being
able to process things from a here and now perspective. The
past is having a lesser influence over me and my relationships.
I used to minimise my feelings and my needs. I actually know
sometimes what I need now. And I also know how to ask for my
needs to be met. And I don’t believe that I am being rejected
if I don’t get them, that people are OK to say no.
Working and studying in a course here is challenging. I found
the group always very supportive and caring. Sometimes I have
found the group hard to be in, as they have become like a family
to me. I have learnt how to be in this group, and how to get
my needs met, which is something I have never been able to do
with my own family. I have learnt to stop care-taking other
people, and how to manage myself. I have learnt so much from
the group and received so much support, that I wouldn’t
normally have let in.
I have learnt how to be boundaried, and how to manage boundaries.
That has taken a lot of hard work on my behalf, learning to
say ‘No that is not OK’.
I love myself more now and am learning how to love myself more
each day. I am learning how to stand up for myself. I am not
willing to be walked over, I am not willing to be mind read,
and I am not willing to have others push me or bully me around.
That’s changed, and I have achieved that through doing
work on my inner child on the course weekend residentials.
I believe in myself more, and am much more confident as a result.
I am kind to me and I buy myself lovely gifts as a result.
I don’t try to be all things to all people any more. I
used to believe I had to get on with everyone, be everyone’s
best mate to make me feel better about myself, and make myself
feel like I wasn’t inherently bad. I’ve realised
that I am not superwoman and can’t make everything right
for everyone. I’ve stopped trying to do that, and started
just being. I can choose where and when I offer support, and
not just do it because it is expected of me.
I can cope with conflict. I used to believe conflict was always
my fault and that was because I was rotten through to the core.
I have learnt to believe that I am not a bad person if there
is conflict and it is not automatically my fault when it happens.
Conflict can be a good teacher. I have learnt to address conflict
in a respectful yet assertive way, and shown that conflict doesn’t
have to be a bad thing.
I believe that I am much happier about myself. I have gone back
to the frightening and grief-stricken places and relived them
and survived. I have learnt to deal with goodbyes in a new understanding,
which is life transforming for me. I found a massive blind spot
from my childhood through my own therapy, which meant saying
good bye was always very painful for me. I also discovered reasons
of why I always wanted to be everybody’s friend, and why
I drove myself so hard. I have stepped back and now I’m
enjoying to just cruising steadily through life.
I have given myself wholly to the group. I have committed myself
to the journey despite my feelings of sometimes wanting to flee
the group and detach myself. It’s been some of the hardest
learning I have had to do. It has meant taking my mask off and
been congruent with people. I have learnt to work with people
in an I’m OK you’re OK life position.
I believe the group have gained from seeing me take risks and
see the benefits as a result of that. I believe the group have
gained from my understanding and commitment to get the best
out of myself and others. I believe I have offered good support
to group members, and that I have made mistakes sometimes and
that I have learnt from them.
The course has helped each of us grow personally and professionally.
It has helped us support each other as we have done that.
The journey is not over, and I still have much learning to do.
I don’t think I am very good at asking for help still,
and I still think sometimes I have to do everything on my own.
I am learning to ask for help from others, and that I letting
others help me doesn’t mean I have to give everything
of myself away, and still remain boundaried.
I am getting better at saying no and not feeling guilty, and
not being friends with everyone all the time. I have learnt
that the only thing that limits me is myself and I can go as
far and as high as I want to, the sky’s the limit.
I am going to continue to work on my own personal growth and
development. I am going to keep going to counselling. I will
continue to give and ask for feedback from my friends and colleagues.
I am going to keep checking out how I am doing, and how did
that feel when I said that with close friends and family.
I have learnt that inside and out, I am beautiful, that I deserve
to be respected and honoured, that I belong and that I am important
enough to make a fuss over. And I take this all as I empower
and enable my clients to find their own journey, walk it and
find new ways of coping with life’s rich tapestry. And
help them to find their own route to healing. to
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